Let's See How Far We've Come

It's funny how a person can experience so many feeling all at once.
It's funny how things can change so much in such a short period of time.

Dinner with Honor Society and sleeping at Joyce's house were the highlights of my thursday night a.k.a start of spring break. We had fun and thoes boys are the funniest and sweetest ever. They'll deff. make it big.

Friday Night was basically a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Hah no, for real. It started out really sketchy and awkward at first. I started to get really upset, but calmed down when we got into the arena. Plus, I signed the boys bus lmao. But I wrote something really sweet unlike all the 'OMG NICK I LOVE YOUU PLEASE HAVE MY BABIES HERES MY PHONE NUMBER SO THE WHOLE WORLD CAN STALK ME OUT AND KILL ME BUT IT'S OKAY! ILL DIE FOR YOUR LOVE BABY"

I was really nervous while we waited in line, which was weird but I realized it was because I hadn't seen the boys since the end of December. When we got closer and I actually saw their faces I was fine. Mr. J was the cutest man in the world and gave me the biggest hug and told me it was good to see me. I really love that man. EAT IT ALI lmfao<3

I went up to Kevin first and got a HEY YOU! haha. He gave me a really good hug, thanked me for coming and told me it was good to see me. Now let me just say one thing, Nick's hugs are irreplaceable. I don't know what it is about them, but something just gets me every time. I got a 'hey! thank you so much' and a little back rub and then Kevin was like "let's get you a picture."

After the picture I told Nick and Kev how me and my best friend Ali (faggot) we're so proud of them and how amazing this whole thing is. Kev was like "Ah thank you so much. I know it's so crazy" Then Joe came up to me and gave me a hug and said it was good to see me and I gave him Rocco's gifts haha. Basically, that was it. Nothing that special, except for the smiles that I got when they saw me (minus the picture - go die)

Everything after that was unexplainable. I don't know what it was or why it happened but I just started bawling as soon as I walked out of that room. Truthfully I don't think I have ever cried so much in my life, and that's saying something.

I think it finally dawned on me that they made it so far. These thousands, even millions, of screaming fans with "Future Mrs. Jonas" shirts on is what they are now. There's no turning back, as much as I wish there was.

I'm so proud of them, yet I miss them incredibly. I feel like in the past few years I have lost so many people that were close to me, and now I'm adding them to the list. It hurts more than you can even imagine. And sometimes thinking about the old times, how I basically grew up with them for the past 2 years and all the good memories we've had, hurts rather than makes me feel better.

I think there were about 3 songs during the whole concert that I didn't cry and about 10 times that I said I couldn't watch and I wanted to leave. But you know what, I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad everything happened that night the way it did. I'm glad I cried and I'm glad I was upset. Because I finally let out my feelings the only way I knew how to.

Thank God for best friends. Thank God for Aliya and Joyce. Thank God that I can call this girl a faggot and she can call me a bitch and we still love eachother. I don't even know where I would be without them both right now.

It's funny how God works. Sometimes he makes bad things happen to make you stronger. Soemtimes he brings certain people into your life because he knows that some way or another they will have an impacton you. But just for the record the bad things that do happen; he makes them happen because he knows that you can handle them. Because you are a strong person.